It’s The S&P 500 Pep Rally

As seen on this week’s Wealth Watch

Investors are running around wearing cheerleader outfits and scaring their coworkers. The S&P 500 continues to exceed expectations as it brings home A+ report cards and has yet to miss a belt loop. The market underwent a 90’s rom-com makeover this summer and now it’s having to fend off thirsty investors by throwing more stocks at them. What does hospitality, airlines and cruises all have in common? An escape route. Investors are tired of looking at the same living room over and over again, so they’re ready to snatch up any stock that’s far away from home. Even Carnival Cruise Lines could make a comeback due to a bored investor dusting off their hero cape to risk it for the biscuit.  

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

Apparently absolutely no one in the United States. Most are opting to Zoom with Grandma than catch COVID cooties from a random Tinder date. For some reason the U.S. continues to relish in all things virtual. If social awkwardness were a stock, investors would buy it to kick off 2021. On the flip side, Europe is single and ready to mingle. According to OpenTable stats, Germany and the United Kingdom are making reservations fit for the whole family, driving their economy forward. You can even hear the scratching of cutlery if you stand on the right edge of Maine.

Speaking of Edges…

Many people are one gust of wind away from being pushed over theirs. Watching the United States open up is like witnessing a race between two sloths on a chilly day. Emotional weather forecasts are showing signs of depression with a slight chance of escalated aggression. Nothing says Casual Tuesday to an introvert than staying indoors for days. However, the same cannot be said for couples unfit to withstand each other more than a few hours at a time. Humans are great at many things, but conflict-resolution may not be one of them. 

Let’s Buy Another Plant

This seems to be every millennial’s catch phrase as of late. You can’t throw a rock out a window without a new plant mom catching it to add to her balcony garden. Capital goods gains are growing like tomato vines as COVID cases seem to be subsiding. Sure, we still have our hotspots but they’re no match for the average buyer’s demand for updated electronics and appliances. Capital goods orders have increased, putting smiles on investor’s faces and keeping food on Best Buy’s tables. The bottom line, people are buying, we’re ready to get back to work, and if we have to watch one more Friend’s rerun, we might just lose it. Other than that, we’re staying Optimiztic.

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