The HCM-BuyLine® Wrangles Investors

As seen on this week’s Wealth Watch

The HCM-BuyLine® has been roping and wrangling frantic investors as they all act like a wolf snuck into the chicken coop. Despite drastic news and sweaty anchors, the HCM-BuyLine® proves there’s enough slack to go around. It’s October and it seems the entire world is on the edge of their seats waiting for November 3rd to show its ugly teeth. Until then, the HCM-BuyLine® will be sitting back with its sling shot while donning a straw hat.

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The Stock Market Lights a Post-Debate Cigar

As seen in this week’s Wealth Watch

Hear-ye, hear-ye; the highly anticipated, geriatric yelling match has ensued. Around 73 million people took time to witness the Real House-husbands of Capital Hill take verbal swings at each other. If TV owners didn’t know where the mute button was before the debate, they sure do now. While audiences across the USA threw popcorn and wine at their TV screens, the stock market lit up a fat one in the alley. 

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It’s The S&P 500 Pep Rally

As seen on this week’s Wealth Watch

Investors are running around wearing cheerleader outfits and scaring their coworkers. The S&P 500 continues to exceed expectations as it brings home A+ report cards and has yet to miss a belt loop. The market underwent a 90’s rom-com makeover this summer and now it’s having to fend off thirsty investors by throwing more stocks at them. What does hospitality, airlines and cruises all have in common? An escape route. Investors are tired of looking at the same living room over and over again, so they’re ready to snatch up any stock that’s far away from home. Even Carnival Cruise Lines could make a comeback due to a bored investor dusting off their hero cape to risk it for the biscuit.  

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The S&P 500 is Stayin’ Alive

As seen in this week’s Wealth Watch

The S&P 500 sent all investors a golden ticket to an upcoming bull market disco. As of recently, The HCM-BuyLine® received its own invite while donning its finest medallion and silver bell bottoms. Over 5 trillion dollars continues to burn a massive hole in everyone’s pockets, leaving them with the same anxiety a mother experiences before a Black Friday event. The one day out of the year (un)athletic shoppers are given the opportunity to prove their spending habits should be considered an extreme sport. 

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The HCM-Buyline® Cheers On Investors

In this week’s Wealth Watch

The HCM-Buyline® is a very supportive soccer mom during these harsh times. Investors are buying like the dickens so markets sit oversold and in need of a good spa day. The rest of the world is in need of a good spa day, actually. On a positive note, the turtle population seems to be going strong. The same cannot be said about the manatees, however. If sea life could invest, eco-friendly straws and compostable trash bags would be oversold, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. 

Speaking of the S&P 500, a number of stocks have been slapped around but everyone has their fingers crossed they’ll bounce back like Winona Ryder’s career after that awkward shopping incident. Everyone needs a little break from time to time, including unemployment. 

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