Opt Weekly

Bring in the Giant Coronavirus Shaped Spatula

No one could have ever expected Colonel Coronavirus to be such a heavy sleeper. But good news everyone, the giant spatula has finally arrived! Now it’s a question of how many maskless delinquents are necessary to peel our unwelcome guest off the hydrangeas. The second question is how are the hydrangeas going to survive. It doesn’t help that the neighbors are so environmentally conscious they actually live in the treehouse above the hydrangeas. Needless to say we’re in quite the pickle here, folks. All that’s left to do is wait for medical workers to fly in Avengers style and pewm-pewm/pow-pow to officially maroon Colonel Coronavirus. 

The only problem is… the medical workers just got pulled over and are being issued a speeding ticket as you read this… 2021 is starting off strong. 


Micro Investors Have Been Pavloved to Throw Hands When they hear the word GameStop

You read that right ladies and gents, GameStop had micro investor and hedge fund feathers ruffled. It was nuts, ya’ll. And we learned not one, but two things. One, Redditors on Wall Street Bets are trifling little buggers. And two, everyone finally learned what hedge funds were. About dang time. 

As of late you can stop any yahoo on the street and ask them how to short a stock. Next thing you know they’re stretching to get limber. They’re about to take you on the ride of your life with their fresh squeezed knowledge. Redditors are always taking opportunities to stick it to the man, so macro investors are sleeping with one eye open now. 

The HCM-BuyLine® Rose Above the Drama

If the nonemotional tool learned anything in Bible camp, it was to turn the other cheek. We’re not trying to be repetitive here, but when the HCM-BuyLine® cries “Uncle” we’ll be sure to give you a heads up. Until then, “Keep Strong and Stock On” is the mantra. 

However, in Vance Howard’s Wealth Watch, he mentions investors could expect a few dips and shifts fit for a backstreet dance off. Q1 is looking a little sloppy in the arms, but if you’ve been keeping up you also know this could be a good time to buy. Also if you look closely at the obnoxiously vague trading graphs you’ll see much of the short-term trading indicators are moving toward oversold levels. Well we can all look over our shoulders at China for that one. They’re getting all liquidy over there and causing a real splash in the S&P 500. (Badum-Cha)

Hey, Colonel Coronavirus. Where the Stuff at?

People are getting “Order Received” emails, but not what they ordered. Backlogs hit the highest level since June 2018, this is a good/bad thing because people are buying stuff, but the suppliers don’t have the manpower to keep up with it all right now. Remember Colonel Coronavirus? The one still sleeping off a hangover in suburbia? Yeah. Because workers were furloughed or otherwise shuffled around, manufacturers are spending more time cleaning up after the colonel rather than shipping off face massagers and other such scams to all the Bethany’s fighting over hairbrushes and compression shorts with their sisters. 

Let’s not forget to mention, the ISM (Institute of Supply Management) Price Index rose 4.5 points to 82.1. We haven’t seen numbers like these since April 2011. What do they mean? Essentially brace for inflation, ya’ll. When numbers go up, so do other numbers. Einstein said that once. 

(No, he didn’t.) 

Stay Optimiztic out there. 


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