Investors

Investors Learn to Self Sooth Over Selloff

Investors were left to practice their breathing exercises from therapy as the market sold off last week. In the Wealth Watch, Vance Howard says there is nothing to be worried about as it is only a quadruple witching hour. However, hearing a diagnosis such as quadruple witching hour almost feels like being trapped in a bad episode of Grey’s Anatomy. One where all the main characters end up dramatically crying somehow. 

However a quad witching hour doesn’t mean anyone is going under the knife. It is on the expiration of: 

  • Single stock options
  • Single stock futures
  • Index options
  • Index futures

We’re still optimiztic, but we recognize it’s easy to feel personally victimized by the terminology above. The NASDAQ doesn’t seem to be worried. It’s over there in the middle of a grueling game of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes with Growth Stocks. These two tend to get competitive. It could get messy. This is a pattern, but if the game keeps going strong then a rally could be in the market’s future. 

Who’s Interested in Interest?

We’ll let you in on a little secret, nobody knows what’s going on with interest rates. From what we’ve gathered, the Fed probably doesn’t either. We can all point fingers at the shoppers unleashed from Colonel Coronavirus’ grasp. This time last year people were all but hiding under rocks. Now that fear is subsiding, consumers are making up for lost time. There’s a lot of pent up aggression demand and not enough supply. 

The toilet paper drought was solved months ago. Now we’re experiencing a whole new deficit for stuff we probably don’t need anyway. In a recent, nonexistent press conference, the Aggregate Bond Index was questioned about the short term spike in inflation. Its response was to hold up a skull and recite, “To consume, or not to consume. That is the question.” The AGG obviously needs to get out more. 

The 3rd Wave is Coming, The 3rd Wave is Coming!

Lady Vaccine has eyes and ears everywhere. She knows what lurks beyond the borders, even if half the UN doesn’t. The world is, yet again, freaking out. Colonel Coronavirus might be picking up steam in his pursuits but Lady Vaccine is saying, “Not today.” 

Vaccination distributions were rolled out differently depending on the country. Corporate America has practically been showering its citizens in vaccinations like Oprah after too much happy juice. You get a vaccine, you get a vaccine, and you in the back also get a vaccine. By next May vaccines will be served with our Happy Meals in lieu of toys. That’s what happens when President Biden goes on a shopping spree. Either way the rest of the world should get to stickin’ and pokin’. We can’t harness the power of herd immunity if Lady Vaccine can’t do her job. 

Until next time, we’ll be playing Simon Says and staying Optimiztic. 

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